me vs the world

..i’ve really had it.. so this is what you want, huh?? jd lo dah bener2 brubah ya?? udah bener2 ga berprasaan?? ga bisa ngehargain usaha orang?? lo kira, dengan menyerah lo bisa dapetin apa yg lo mau?? lo pikir, smua itu bisa dateng ke lo hanya dengan duduk manis, berlagak kayak tuan putri?? buat lo iya! buat gw? nggak!! lo pikir?? buat apa gw usaha slama 4 bln ini?? gw brusaha biar smuanya bisa balik kyk 10 bulan yg lalu!! tepat pada hari ini!! bisa2nya lo bilang seolah ga ada gunanya gw berusaha sekeras ini…lo pikir gampang?? gw gak kayak lo, yg cuma bisa berlagak kayak tuan putri, mau apa2 ada yg menuhin. you think it’s easy to be me?? jd lo dah bner2 brubah?? ga berprasaan?? pdhl gw kira elo yg paling bisa ngertiin gw, ternyata enggak!! malah sekarang lo ngomong seolah sgala usaha keras gw slama ini sia2 aja..?? jd ini sosok asli lo?? apa ini sosok lo stelah lo brubah? apa sih yg bikin lo brubah ampe gini? sbenernya yg brubah tu siapa sih?? tapi gw yakin, elo yg dulu nggak kayak gini..!! emang ga smuanya bakal sama!! tapi harus lebih baik!! dan kenapa malah lebih buruk?? jd emang ini tujuan lo?? lo pikir lo tu siapa?? jd slama ini lo manfaatin gw?? dan skrg lo buang gw gitu aja?? sesadis itukah elo??? gw ga nyangka. dibalik kulit lo yg "innocent" itu, ternyata lo itu cukup "rotten" juga ya.. hahaha!! bodohnya gw! ternyata emang sampe kapanpun, gw ga pantes berharap punya sahabat..terlalu muluk ya bwt gw?? hahh..terserah..pantes apa ngga…gw akan terus berusaha!! terserah apa kata lo, tapi yg ini bukan buat lo!! jgn nyesel klo akhirnya gw mutusin bhw gw bner2 ga akan balik kyk dlu lg… tp..sperti yg gw pernah bilang dulu..gw tetep nunggu..kalo lo bisa balik lagi..KALAU. klo ga..yahh..maybe i’ve moved on that time..lo pikir gw gak capek?? gw udah berusaha keras bwt smua ini, dan lo seolah bilang klo ini sia2?? whatever. i’m sick of this. waktu lo buat think it over.. starts now..! think it over..dan jangan nyesel..if i’m really never coming back!

–to a "friend"??

buka puasa di rmh sani (23/10/2005) kmrn gila abis! knp?? soalnya kita maksain dtg wlpn ujan gede..dan dugaan gw terbukti, disana banjir, bro!! untungnya gak tinggi2 amat, jd cuman jlnannya doang yg banjir..rumah sani kan di atas gtu.. (tp tetep aja banjir!!) jd kita mau msk rumah mesti nyemplung dulu (hihihiii…) and so on lah..buka puasanya ga bgitu berbobot sih acaranya…jd cm kayak reuni kecil2an gt…(kecil2an? kecil bgt!! xp) trs..makin malem, makin tinggi banjirnya!! tdnya kita mutusin nginep aja di rmh sani..pdhl bsknya anak2 28 en 82 msh pd skul gtu..(gw, niza, wulan, sani en sandi) jadii..lama2 kita mutusin buat tumpuk2an di mobil putri..soalnya mobil fanny di parkirnya di balai..jad kita mesti nyemplung lg tuu..(hehehh) eh..tp keputusan akhir jd kita ada yg ikut mobil fanny, ada yg ikt putri..gw kebagian ikt mobil fanny..ehh pke acara si mia ama kieky ketinggalan mobil putri lagee..yaudah jd kita jalan dr rumah sani mpe balai rakyat…dgn kata lain, kita nyemplung lagi dan ternyata banjirnya mpe selutut bowh..(hohohooohh) trus kita bukannya panik ato apa, malah ketawa-ketiwi bacanda mulu…hihihiii…jorok ya kita. xp uuuudah deh.. sepanjang jalaaan kenangaaan *loh?? xp* mxd gw spanjang jalan pulang kita gj2an..dan alhamdulillah kita sampai rumah degan selamat sentosa…*gj…gj…gj…sekian* xp

I woke up it was 7
Waited till 11
just to figure out that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don’t hear from them
What’s another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on you own
and here it goes

I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I’m alone and the world is
having more fun than me

And maybe when the night is dead, i’ll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I’ll try to think about the last time, I had good time
Everyone’s got somewhere to go
And their gonna leave me here on my own

What the hell is wrong with me?
don’t fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I’m bored and I can’t fall asleep
cause every night is the worst night ever

I’m all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause im just a kid tonight

1 word. bored. aaargh. besok ulangan. gw ga ngerti apa2an. and everyone’s on their own. never caring of anyone else. apalagi gw? whatever. i’m bored. stressed. wounded. end of report. …

I thought that I could always count on you,
I thought that nothing could come between us two.
We said as long as we would stick together,
We’d be alright,
We’d be ok.

So thank you - for lying to me,
So thank you - for all the times you let me down
So thank you - for lying to me,
So thank you - your friendship you can have it back..!!!

kayaknya emang harapan gw ttg persahabatan itu terlalu muluk. kyknya gw emang g pantes bwt percaya sama org lain. seems like the thing called "true friends" is only in movies…cuman ada dlm cerita… atau…cmn bs terwujud klo bner2 ikhlas krn Allah..?? yah…mgkn gw blm nemuin aja..yg namanya persahabatan sejati..hhmmph..kesabaran emang gak ada batasnya…tapi kyknya gw kurang bersabar…apa gw itu bodoh? should i keep it all deep inside?? then just mess evrything up?? am i that stupid?? i dont know, all i know is that now i’m ALONE again…mgkn emang pada dasarnya gw itu…sendiri. kesepian. a single fighter. well if that’s the way it supposed to be, then so be it. i’ll keep on "fighting" even though i’m alone. noone would understand why. noone would wanna know. they just dont care. so why should i care? i’ll leave it to them. i’ll leave it to you. whatever. okay, you dont wanna hear me then let’s see what if you’ll never gonna hear me again. let’s see what if I DON’T CARE.